Saying NO gracefully

Standard

Yesterday I found myself repeating a pattern. I was making the phone call and writing the email and running about over something that wasn’t my job and grumbling under my breath. I was chuntering about it on the way home and feeling angry with myself for being such a sucker. And I thought, Whoa. What a waste of energy! How is beating myself up helping this situation? Does it make me feel better?

I don’t want to be negative, grumpy or a victim here. I don’t want to allow the rest of my lovely day to be spoilt by my reaction to one silly event ( and one class A manipulator!).

So I started rehearsing:

Thank you so much for thinking of me but I’m up to my eyes right now

Normally Id love to help but I’m just on my way out of the door

No

Do you find it hard to phone people yourself? Is that something we can get you some help for?

Here let me show you how to write emails, with a little practice yu too will learn to love it

Oh I don’t feel well ( fall to floor in dead faint)

Why would you think I would do that?

I’m sorry isn’t that part of your job?

Gosh you must be overworked, can I support you in talking to our manager about this?

 

Please feel free to add your own suggestions, I would love to hear them and even more to learn to use them!

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4 responses »

  1. I love the fainting option! I’ve just seen two versions of Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility, and have understood that fainting is a very effective way of getting what you want.

    Seriously, all of the options you mentioned are really good. I’m so glad the day’s events got you thinking about saying no!

  2. Some great ideas there and an excellent idea for a topic. My favourite is the one about support through talking to their manager – I can see them run a mile now 🙂

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