A good week this week. Isn’t it amazing how feeling in control, eating the right amount of food for your body and doing some exercise improves your mood? Well it does mine. Today I’m happy, happy, happy. First weigh-in of this next phase of my journey to Slim Land and I have lost 5 lbs. Yay!
Of course I am still at the stage of needing to weigh myself naked, first thing in the morning and after potty but I am doing it the same time every week and trying to step away from the demon scales the rest of the time. In some ways I’d be happy not to have any scales at all. After all it’s not the numbers on them that matter one bit. I can tell if I am losing or gaining weight by my clothes and how I feel, move, walk etc. My ambition would be to reach a weight I am happy and healthy with then stay around there by knowing how my jeans fit.
I wore my new black jeans with the sparkle round the hem yesterday, and that’s another thing that made me feel good. Today I had on a new eBay jacket I’d been saving for this wedding. I can feel myself standing a bit taller and walking a bit better. I know I had got to a weight where I had crossed a line with my mobility. I suspect a bit of arthritis but I can see already how I am moving more easily. I am looking forward to letting go of this fat suit and being myself again.
I know the Fat Suit has had a role in my life. Nothing comes from nothing after all and it has served its purpose. I suppose it can be a protection or a comfort blanket when we feel low or insecure, all the books tell us so. And that it can be a form of protection against attack or what we are feeling is a ‘ bad bad situation” ( isn’t that the cue for a song?!). I tend to feel its the comfort eating that acts as the blanket, it is a way to numb out feelings, a way to feel ‘treated’ or even a way to rebel against the rules or oppression. Well I’ve been there and done that. And I’m here to say to my Fat Suit,
” Thank you for doing your best to look after me. Hey, you did a great job, better than even I anticipated!. But here I am back in business and I can look after myself again now. Plus I have some pretty good family and friends who are going to be right here beside me cheering me on, counting my points and celebrating success. And I want to be around with them and for them for a long while to come. So Fat Suit, I am letting you go. Your job here is done. I am blessing you and sending you on your way.”